Goal, Shmoal

Okay, I’m going off on a soapbox here………This little rant all started with an innocent comment made by Olivia’s (my 2 yr old) preschool teacher. In a weekly progress note, she made the comment that she is hoping for Olivia to be completely potty trained by December. Well here’s my problem with that: you DON’T set goals for babies and toddlers who are trying to make their way through the developmental milestones…….unless you’re God I guess. Olivia has been peeing in the potty (among other things) since she was a few months shy of her 2 yr birthday in May. We were surprised because we don’t push these kinds of things EVER, but we figured it must have been because she has a big sis who she sees pee in the potty all the time. The thing is, she isn’t potty trained completely because she still wets her pull up at night sometimes and occasionally during the day. She still alternates wearing panties and pull ups at school and at home. So that got me to thinking about the strong opinions I’ve formed over my last 7 years as a parent on reaching milestones.

My stance on babies/tots reaching their milestones is this: leave them alone, it will happen. Every child has their own plan, their own strengths and weaknesses, their own mind! If you’re getting the thumbs up from your pediatrician at the well baby check ups, and you don’t have any instinctual gut feelings that something is off, then RELAX and leave the kid alone! I hate to see moms who will have their baby “practice” walking….it’s ridiculous and it can ruin the muscles in their feet. You dragging them by their arms up and down the hallway isn’t helping…..that’s not walking! And don’t even get me started on walkers. I hate those things. I believe in open, free play space. Quit worrying about what your neighbor’s kid is doing, or what your sister’s kids all did, or what your mother says you did when you were little (believe me, she doesn’t really remember, it’s been 20-30 years ago).

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying to ignore the kid, I do believe in encouraging words and claps and cheers for effort, attempts and milestones completed. I just can’t stand to hear people compare their baby to other babies (or even worse, their siblings) like it’s a big competition about who cuts teeth first, or why their kid isn’t walking, etc. Have you ever seen a healthy 7 yr old who doesn’t pee on the potty, or who still drinks from a bottle? That’s right; it doesn’t happen that way folks. So ultimately it doesn’t really matter what day they chuck the bottle or pacifier, take their first step, or stop using diapers/pull-ups; what matters is that they get the job done and most importantly in their own time.