10 Years In and It's Still a Mystery

What could I possibly be talking about? Marriage. One of life’s mysteries. Sometimes I think Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell had the right idea……just act married, don’t actually make it legal. I’m not sure if that would make it easier to bail but it seems like it would be. Something about that little piece of paper making it legal…..you feel more compelled to stay even when it gets hard.

Men and women could not be more different. Yet we come together in a union, make a home, maybe raise a family, maybe make some money, and not only are we somehow supposed to survive it without killing each other….. but we’re actually supposed to still like, respect, and love each other! There once was a time where this didn’t seem crazy to me……fast forward to almost 10 years of marriage, two children, a mortgage, careers ending and starting, and all the cynicism makes sense to me now!!

Why do any of us get married anyway? Companionship? True love? Oops, the test is showing two pink lines? I don’t know, I have no answers. I got hitched 9 years and 7 months ago and there are still days when I wake up and wonder why I did it. Don’t get me wrong, I still love my husband…..very much. I just thought that by now we’d have this marriage thing all figured out; that our relationship would flow like water in a creek making all the stones smooth with time. But nah…..we still have the same stupid arguments, and every now and then we throw something new in there to fuss about. Why is that? Does anyone else walk away from a one hour discussion thinking you’re finally resolving issues, and then a month later there you are fighting about the same damn thing again?! Every time I think I am so running out of energy for this marriage business…..I find myself thinking of all the reasons I loved Abel in the first place. And all the reasons I have found to love him this many years later.

All I really have figured out at this point is this: 1) we still wake up in the mornings and want to be together, though I can’t say that happens every day….just most. 2) We’re better together then we would be apart…I think. 3) We obviously make “super DNA” together because our children are two of the most beautiful, intelligent creatures that ever lived.

So I guess we’ll keep trudging forward and see where it all goes….

Okay, But Let's Talk About Me Instead.

I’m not sure what inspired this moment of narcissism, but it sounded like fun to write totally random but totally true statements about myself!

I eat a cheeseburger and fries at least once a week.

I fit the Cancerian Crab descriptions to a T.

I get bored with routines.

I love to watch reruns of Golden Girls, Designing Women, and Mama’s Family.

I will laugh at inappropriate times and at inappropriate things.

I am a woman of strong faith, and I come from a long line of strong women with faith.

I have written many blogs in bed at 3AM because I can’t sleep, but forget them by the next morning.

I have self confidence issues.

I believe everyone has more then one soul mate.

I spent all my teenage years and most of my early adulthood hating my curly hair and my height, but am finally learning to like it.

Music cures everything for me.

There once was a time when Tequila was my drink of choice.

I have never thrown up when drunk. Ever.

Motherhood is the one and only thing I have ever felt completely confidant about. Not work, not marriage, not friendships, not family, not school. Just motherhood.

I spent all of junior high and high school with a learning disability that went unnoticed….unfortunately for me.

I have a soft spot for animals.

I do not have a green thumb. In fact, I have the opposite. I have a curse that causes seeds not to grow and plants to die around me, especially when left in my care.

I only drink out of disposable cups or cans because I hate the cabinet smell in glasses…even at my own house.

I’ve been known to be way too judgmental, way too sensitive, and way too analytical (or obsessive as some people like to call it).

Out of The Mouths of Babes....

Just wanted to share a little bit of the daily comments our two yr old so wonderfully entertains us with!

Quotes directly from Olivia:

The Britney song “Piece of Me” playing loudly and Olivia singing at the top of her lungs……..“you want a piece a meat”. [wrong word, yet somehow still fitting…]

Having been asked to get under the covers while I read to her………“give me a break”.

On the way to my parent’s house…….”I’m gonna tell Paw paw I’m a dude”

Having spotted a deer head mounted on the wall at Cracker Barrel…….. “eewwww! a puppy!”

September 11th

Seven years ago today I was awoken by a phone call at about 8:00 in the morning. It was my husband calling from his office to let me know that an airplane had crashed through one of the twin towers in NYC. He said something about it being terrorists and my first words were, “well Bush got his way…we’re going to war”. As we hung up, my alarm radio went off and they were talking about the plane crash. In my sleepy haze, I thought, “this must be really big”. I went into the living room and turned on the television. Between the time my husband hung up with me and I got into the living room, the second plane had hit (if my memory serves me correctly). Every channel was airing it. I couldn’t get away from it. Did I mention my husband was in the Air Force, and that we lived on a military base in west Texas? Or that I was 11 days away from my due date with my first child? DEPRESSING!

The base went into the highest threat-con status, meaning we couldn’t come or go without our car being searched, without routine checks. I had a prenatal visit the next day and for the first time in my pregnancy my husband wasn’t able to accompany me because all personnel were advised not to leave base during the day and in their BDU’s. And I couldn’t get away from it! Every channel was broadcasting up to the minute reports. Not that I don’t think that kind of event deserved that type of media coverage-- it was just soooo hard to watch. I was scared but I was mainly depressed. Who wants to bring a small, innocent, defenseless baby into this world knowing that we are at war? Knowing that although we think our country is safe against terrorists, and that our military is the strongest in the world…someone got through. Someone got through and killed thousands of innocent people with no warning.

At least that’s what we were told……..that we had no warning. WE, as the public, may have not had any warning but I strongly feel that the Bush administration had some knowledge. But, I guess when you’re a….let’s see what did I hear him called recently? Oh yeah….”retarded cowboy”….I guess you wouldn’t understand that as President of the United States maybe you should take heed to such a threat. Anyway, sorry my 9/11 memorial turned into a Bush bashing. But, here we are 7 years later…… I have two children now and for their whole lives our country has been at war. But of course when your billions are invested in oil from the Middle East, then why on earth would you stop the war? But that’s a whole different blog……..

Church Shopping

I’ve been a member at the same church my whole life…..literally; my mother took me for the first time as a newborn. When I was a child our congregation was about 30-40 people, nowadays on a good Sunday there are 10-15 of us. Some families have moved away but mainly the elders just keeping dying off. I know that’s morbid but it’s true! We have no Sunday school, no youth groups, no involvement in the community, etc. Week after week I take the girls [my hubby is Catholic and attends his own church] and ride with my mom and grandma to church……..BLAH. I’m getting nothing out of it, except communion and……..that’s about it, well and I guess the girls are learning how to whisper???? To me church should be a place where your soul and inner peace are replenished for the week. A place where when you leave you feel cleansed or refreshed from the inside out. A place where you grow spiritually each week. I am not getting this. I guess you could say I’ve been continuing there out of loyalty? Out of not wanting to make changes? But, I’ve decided it’s time I go church shopping. I want to stay with Church of Christ, I just hate the idea of going to a new place. Call me strange but there are two main reasons why I do not like visiting new churches….

1) No anonymity. At least not in a Church of Christ. You are pounced on like the fresh meat that you are as soon as the service is over. You are greeted by at least a dozen new people all wanting to know if you’re new to the area, etc. You are sometimes even invited to Sunday dinner. Now I’m sure you’re thinking, “What’s wrong with that”? I’ll tell you. I LIKE being anonymous sometimes. I LIKE not being hounded with a thousand introductions. I don’t like when they assume this was my first time in a church, and they better grab onto me before I fall into the clutches of Satan.

2) Learning the routine; each church has their own routine. Granted, most Church of Christ congregations probably have the same rituals but not necessarily in the same order, and I’ve seen the communion done a few different ways. Again, you might ask, “What’s the big deal”? I’ll tell you. I don’t like feeling lost and looking foolish; especially with two noisy kids by my side to bring all the attention on us. First, you have to find a place to sit and hope that you’re not taking the seat of a regular. Then, you have to figure out what everyone is doing and what’s going to happen next. Then there’s the DREADED “meet and greet”, which some churches do as a regular part of the morning service. Where people actually get up and go around greeting one another, and then if you’re new ……well…you’re shark bait.

So we’ll see how it goes! I’ll be sure and keep you all [well, all 2 of you] posted!

Don't Forget the Popcorn!

I’ve been too busy to come up with a serious blog subject, much less write one. So as I sit here and watch The Color Purple, I’m inspired to write about some of my favorite movies….

My husband and I are both movie buffs. In fact we actually go around integrating random quotes from movies into our daily lives. Like, “your head has the shell on it” or “real tomato ketchup, Eddie?”. Recognize those? Yeah, you wouldn’t unless you’re a big ‘Tommy Boy’ or ‘National Lampoon’s Vacation’ fan. I love watching movies at the theater, I love watching them at home, I love movies. I’ve even contemplated starting another blog all about movies. Here are some of my all time favorites ….at least the ones that come to mind right now.

The Color Purple—there’s so much to love about this movie I can’t even put it all into words. Empowerment of women is a good way to summarize it in a few words. The top 3 scenes: 1) Sophia (played by Oprah Winfrey) telling Celey (played by Whoopi Goldberg) how she’d been abused her whole childhood but she won’t take it now that she’s a grown woman, 2) When Shug (played by Margaret Avery) is singing to herself outside and then hears the choir from her father’s church singing and she starts running towards the church, and then bursts in singing along with the choir and reunites with her father, 3) At the end when Celey curses “Mister” (played by Danny Glover) for abusing her for so many years.

Steel Magnolias-okay so it’s sort of the typical sappy chick flick but it’s so warm-hearted that you find yourself loving the characters…..and the beauty shop scenes!

Going in a completely different direction…..Knocked Up is a fabulously funny movie and it has an actual storyline. If you can tolerate crude humor then you have to watch! There isn’t anything in this movie that’s not funny. From the sex jokes, bearded roommate, and pink eye breakout to the gyno who misplaced her fingers during the exam. Hilarious.

Superbad—by the same producers as Knocked Up and with some of the same actors. Hilarious movie! Lots of teenage awkwardness, sex jokes and off the wall humor, which I love.

Back to the Future and Adventures in Babysitting—Still watch them to this day every time they come on, and I own the DVD copy of Adventures in Babysitting. Love them. What is there not to like? Who doesn’t wish they could go back in time? And wouldn’t want a cool babysitter like “Kris”?

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation-I love all of the vacation movies but this one is my all time fave out of the set. We watch it every Christmas without fail and sometimes even in the summer. Top scene: When Clark has his usual breakdown…this time about the Christmas “bonus” he received. And of course who doesn’t love cousin Eddie?

90210 flashback

Did anyone get to watch the new 90210? Not me! For some reason Dish Network doesn’t provide me with that channel. I don’t know why else I’m paying 130.00 a month for the “everything” package, except to get everything. But, NO I can’t get the one channel that airs the remake of my most beloved show of all time. Did I mention I HEART Dylan? Or how I always wished I was friends with Brenda, Kelly, and Donna? Yes, I was a dork. But I watched the show religiously every single season. Wednesday nights were MY night. I saw Kelly through an eating disorder, a neglectful mother, her slutty image, almost burning up in a bathroom with a lesbian who was in love with her, her occult phase, and her gun shot induced amnesia. But, I totally rooted for Brenda during the Kelly, Dylan, Brenda love triangle.

So even though I realize I’m 29, a wife, and mother of two…..I still can’t get enough of the teenage predicaments, romances, flings, and just overall drama. So I still occasionally watch 90210 reruns on SOAP network and I totally wanted to see the new 90210!!! If nothing else just to see Jennie Garth and Shannon Doherty reprise their roles. I did buy this weeks copy of US weekly because Shannon was on the front dishing about her time on the show, and on the way home today I did hear “How Do You Talk to an Angel” on the radio. Which any die hard fan will remember was the song of Jamie Walter’s character on the spinoff show “The Heights”, who then later joined the 90210 gang as Donna’s [abusive] love interest. ANYWAY, I’m completely bummed that I can’t watch the new one. I’m actually considering calling the satellite company to see what it would cost to add the channel…….now that’s loyalty. Or maybe it's just weird.