Rednecks, Chihuahuas, and Other Highlights of My Week

So my house has been crazy with illness all week; from stomach viruses to asthma/allergy issues. And, let me just say that I hate vomiting….not that anyone likes it…but I really, really hate it. Here are some other highlights of my week:

While sitting at a red-light, I noticed a bumper sticker some redneck had on his truck {and I say redneck because he had a sticker of a deer head on his truck, next to one that said ‘Ted Nugent for president’…so case closed.}, it read “Europeans call it socialization, Americans call it welfare, Obama calls it change”. Now maybe I’m reading this wrong (and if I am, just tell me) but it sounded like an insult to Obama and welfare. If so, let me just get on my soapbox here and start by saying that Obama did not create welfare, or the U.S. welfare system. He was just put into leadership of a country that already has this system in place, albeit a screwed up system, but a system already in place. Secondly, I don’t get the big complaint with welfare, helping each other out, or liberalism. Especially from people who claim to be Christians. I’m sorry, unless I learned from a different Bible, Jesus was a poor carpenter who sought out the sick and the poor to HELP them. But, sometimes I have to wonder if Republicans are somehow picturing Jesus as a stuffy old white man in an expensive suit that brings in a 6 figure income, who looked down his nose at others and talked out of his ass. I admit that our welfare system is badly in need of better management, especially since there are so many people who abuse it. But, in the meantime how can we punish those who are using the system like the stepping stone it was designed to be, just because there are some who truly are lazy? Bottom line: don’t complain about something you know nothing about, don’t put ridiculous Obama-hating stickers on your vehicles blaming him for everything wrong with this country, and if you’re going to have all these conservative ideas about welfare, fine--just please don’t play the Christianity card along with it.

We have a new Chihuahua puppy……that I hate. She was a Christmas gift for our 7 yr old, but also meant to be a family dog. I’m not sure what kind of crack we were smoking to 1) buy a dog for a 7 yr old, and 2) not consider that we’d be house training this dog in the WINTER. We take her outside, she sniffs around, sometimes pees, sometimes doesn’t. As soon as we go back in she pees (or worse) right on the floor. Only when it’s sunny, does she decide that she can pee outside. Little bitch. I hate her. She is stupid and untrainable. Last night, I reached my breaking point…… I found myself in my t-shirt, flip flops and coat (thankfully a long coat), with no contacts in (having been just about to get into bed), standing on our back patio, with freezing rain misting down on me, begging this dog to please do her business so we could go back inside. She on the other hand, thought this was some kind of really fun game where she just tries to sneak around me and get back on the patio to go stand by the door. When I finally give up and go in, she craps on the living room floor!!!!!!! For the 50 billionth fu**ing time!!!! I wanted to hurl her through a window. I have no patience to train a dog, I never have. I like the big goofy furry ones who just live outside. Or better yet, cats, who actually enjoy being clean. They don’t eat their own shit, vomit it up, and then eat their vomit. Cats are NORMAL!!! Lap dogs are too needy, they have long nails that scratch you, and they take more patience then Mother Teresa or Jesus ever had in order to house train! And I’m sharing this with you dear friends (or my 3 faithful readers) because I cannot say this to my 7 yr old, who seems to really like the stupid dog.

Last but not least, I have had an ongoing battle with a collection agency who claims I owe a 900.00 phone bill from 2000. I have disputed this with the credit bureaus as well as the collection agency. They are now asking me to fill out a fraud affidavit, have it notarized, as well as file a police report. Are you kidding me? File a freakin’ police report over a phone bill from 9 years ago??!! Wonderful.