Why Pray?

I grew up in a family that held hands and gave thanks at the dinner table (and not just on special occasions), around a mother and grandmothers that found their strength in prayer and faith, with a family that believed our lives were guided by God and that he always knew best….no matter what. Anytime life threw us a curveball, the adults would simply say “we’ll pray about it”. So I became an adult that prays over life’s challenges, over my marriage, my children; I’ve prayed for guidance on major life decisions, and I’ve put all my faith in God guiding me in the direction He wants me to go.

So why is it that I am sometimes reluctant to pray over certain things? I’ve seen God’s hand in just about every aspect of my life. I know He is there. But, when I want something that I think isn’t good for me, or not what God would want, I find myself almost refusing prayer. One of the hardest things to do is to pray for God’s will and truly mean it. {Especially when you’re a control freak like me.} I mean we all have our own ideas about what our lives should look like, but when you can hand it over to someone who knows all, sees all, created you, and has a special plan for you-- there is no greater feeling. Who better to be in control of your life?

So why do I hesitate to pray? Why are there things in my life that have been neglected? I’ll just say I’ve ignored a certain aspect of my life lately, hoping the problems would go away on their own. Why I chose not to just pray about it, I’m not sure. I think I already had my mind made up as to how it should all play out, and I was refusing to let God take over. I guess there comes a point when some of us have to realize the more we have to fight for control in a situation, the more the situation is actually controlling us. So as I sit here typing, I’m preparing myself to surrender……….AGAIN.