I just got through telling a friend that maybe we just have different ideals of what a marital relationship should be. And that was after this morning when I just said to another friend I can see a future of working things out. Hmmmmm...flip flopping much?? I somehow have hopes that by writing these thoughts down, it will help me find more answers. I don't even care if anyone ever reads this, I don't care if it's public. Whatever. Sometimes it just is what it is, and keeping it all a secret doesn't make it any different. (I only have like 3 readers that I know of anyway. lol)
I know at some point I'll get to that really honest place inside me where I have to face whatever it is I haven't been facing. You don't just get to this point in an 11yr relationship overnight. It's been brewing. And maybe from day one.....I'm not really sure. I know that my defense mechanisms have started trying to take over, but I have to get past that. I can't get to pure honesty until I let my defenses down.
hello
3 days ago
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