Tristitia

Every time I start to write a new blog post I end up just staring at the screen and not knowing what to say. Sure I have plenty of things I write about that will never go public, but there’s also something really cathartic about writing things that others can read (not that I have all these blog readers, but you know what I mean). So as far as where I am right now…… here are a few of the disjointed thoughts that roam around in my head on almost a daily basis. Disclaimer: this is depressing

I think back to the difficult times I’ve been through in my life, and I think I’d rather suffer through any one of those again instead of feeling the way I feel right now.

Some days I look around at other people and I see them smiling so genuinely… and I hate them for it.

I can now say that I have been on both sides of the fence and back. The grass was the same, now what?

Sometimes you have to take a really, really, really broken road to get where you’re supposed to end up. And that really, really, really SUCKS.

I now know that it’s very possible to wake up one day and not recognize your life. You feel like the you that you’ve always been on the inside, and you go through the same routines and motions of what you should do, but you look around and everything is totally unrecognizable.

If you ever want to see a situation for what it truly is, detach yourself emotionally. You’ll see some ugly shit.

I am forever grateful for the people that choose to remain in my life despite the stupid shit that I do. At the same time I would give anything to feel like there is someone out there who truly understands me and why I do it.