Me

I’m probably the most analytical, “overthinking” person you could ever talk to. My brain never stops. I think I’m a pretty smart girl with an odd mix of book smarts, street smarts, and intuition. I have a really hard time being fake, this works for me and against me. Not much shocks me…seriously not much at all.  I have a lot of aggression and I’m not always sure where it comes from. Music is everything to me, it cures me, it heals me, it revives me.  I absolutely love movies, and I quote them in regular conversations. I tend to laugh when things get too serious, too crazy, or if I get too angry…I guess it’s a nervous habit?  Jokes that most people think are gross or inappropriate, I think are freakin hilarious.  I love to sleep.  I cuss a lot, but still refuse to cuss in front of my parents.  I’ve always been a little boy crazy.  I really like tattoos, and have three of em.  I’ll prob get a 4^th. I refuse to have regrets. I refuse to do what everyone else thinks I should.  I have opinions on just about anything, and I like mine the best.  I can argue any point when I want to, I was told growing up that I should be a lawyer, and I’ve been called “the great debater”.  I’m not really sure if that’s a good thing.  I’m super sensitive and many people have made me cry without ever knowing it. I think I’m hard to get to know, I’ve been told I act like a snob or a bitch, but in reality I’m just really reserved and shy.  Once you get to know me you see a totally different side that most people don’t even know is there.  I’m usually down for anything at least once… unless it involves heights.  I also hate surprises, even good ones.  I can out drink most people that I know.  Again, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. I try to embrace all experiences good and bad.  Cause the good feels good, and the bad just makes you stronger anyway.  I’m pretty controlling, territorial, and possessive.  But with that comes a world of good intentions, loyalty, passion, and usually love.  I’ve had more jobs then I can really count, I often forget about one or two of em.  When I was younger I was definitely an impulsive little thing. I’ve outgrown that…mostly.  I have a soft spot for animals, and I can’t bare to watch those ASPCA commercials with Sarah Mclachlan singing (depressing!!).   I always wanted to be a mother, and I’m thankful that God blessed me with that privilege.  My faith in God was instilled in me from birth, and has remained a huge part of my life. But I don’t think it’s my personal mission to bring others to Jesus, and I don’t think that only one denomination is going to Heaven.  I’m also really embarrassed by the amount of people that call themselves Christian yet are so super judgmental and prejudiced.  I’m a pretty open minded person and pretty liberal, but I have my limitations as I think we all should.  Every day before school my dad told me “be a leader, not a follower”, I think I did a fairly good job of sticking to that.  I have a lot of responsibilities and a lot of titles, but at 31 I’m still kinda searching for who I am.   For now I am all these things, made up in part by my experiences, my choices, the consequences of those choices, the people that I have let in my life, the people that showed up unexpectedly, the ones who stayed, the ones who left, but mostly because I don’t know how to be anything other than this.