Why

“But why can’t you give it another chance now that everything is the way you always wanted?”

Why do people ask me that?

Do they not understand that everyone has their breaking point? You get tired of standing around waiting and hoping that one day it will be different. Thinking that if you just keep trying, keep moving forward out of sheer love, that something will change. Telling yourself whatever you can to shove the hurt feelings down deeper cause experience has taught you that it does no good to voice them. At some point you stop waiting. At some point you realize you’ve given it all you can. And who is anyone else to tell you otherwise? Are you not the expert on you? Can someone else really tell you when you’ve done your best? So just because other people have decided that now they want to stop and really listen, that means that up to this point you haven’t given it a fair shot? Then what the fuck was I doing all those years beating my head against a brick wall?? Was my mistake in that I didn’t realize my audience wasn’t receptive? I was supposed to wait till you were ready to hear me… is that what you’re saying?
Hmmmm… this is kinda like that question, “if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it does it really make a noise?”…. I can tell you now I was screaming it at you. You may not have heard me, but I was. You’ll just have to take my word for it, kick yourself for not listening, and move on.