She looked at me with all her years of education,training, experience...and I knew she could see it in my face. My fear that I was a bad mother; our relationship was crumbling. Generations of faults having been passed down....inadequacies would be exposed.

Muy Mal

Alternatively titled: "Bad, Shitty, Terrible, Stressful Morning"

Warning: This is a rant and nothing but. There are no morals, or life-long lessons included; it’s just simply me bitching about my morning because it makes me feel better.

For starters, I went to bed angry with my husband. Yeah, yeah I broke the cardinal rule of marriage and went to bed angry. F that. It’s a dumb idea anyway. Secondly, I woke up late because I was tired from working late the night before. As soon as Alexandria was ready I asked her to bring her dog back inside and put her in the kennel. Well apparently she translated that to, “stay outside and play some more”. I finish getting ready, get Olivia’s shoes on, remember I need to bring a lunch because I work through lunch today……Olivia says her new shoes hurt her feet. “okay, I’ll run get you some socks…….where’s Alexandria? Why hasn’t she come in with the dog yet?......Aly!!!!!!”. She comes in,

Me: “why haven’t you put your dog up yet??”

Aly: “oh, I didn’t know that’s what you said to do”

Me: “oh well it’s too late to chase her down now, she’s out of luck we have to go or you’re gonna be late”

Knowing that at this point I am for sure 15 minutes behind for work now. We all get in the car, I then realize that it’s probably not a good idea to let the dog stay out all day because not only could she get stolen (a girl can dream can’t she??), but she could possibly kill one of our kittens who are now staying on the patio. (she thinks they are her toys and tries to force them to play with her) So I get back out of the car, attempt to chase her down and get her inside to her kennel, meanwhile one of the cats runs in and I literally chase it all over the kitchen and back out the door. THEN as I’m cussing the dog out under my breath and through gritted teeth, I call her over to the car so she’ll think she’s getting to go, it works, she comes, I grab her and we go inside, I resist the urge to hurl her through the window for running from me (but can you blame her?) and instead put her in her kennel. We race to Aly’s school, or at least as fast as the law allows in a school zone, and just as Aly is getting out of the car I notice that she and her dad picked out a skirt the night before and I say “does that have shorts under it for PE?” she lifts is up and………..NO. There are no shorts. So she will most likely have to sit out in PE and get points deducted.

I race on to Olivia’s preschool, as I’m getting her out of the car I realize I forgot to go back and get her socks, we go all the way to her classroom, as fast as a 3 yr old can walk….sign on the door : “We are at the playground”. Thank you lady at the front desk who watched me hurry by with my child in tow, knowing full well who we are, which class she’s in, and that they are on the playground! Thank you for doing your job so excellently. We backtrack all the way to the playground, I tell her teacher "she may need band-aids later in the day cause she’s breaking in new shoes" and I’m such a bad mother that I forgot to give her some socks to help out the pain. I rush back to my car, spin out like a bat out of hell pull safely out of the drop off zone, and as I drive past the playground on my way out I look over to see my precious, sweet faced, baby girl waving bye to me so enthusiastically that I felt even more like complete shit for forgetting those damn socks it brought me to tears. And let me tell you, it’s been a long time since I drove out of a preschool parking lot with tears in my eyes, but that pretty much did me in.

My morning didn’t get much better as I arrived 30 minutes late for work only to realize that I left my notes for three assessments I have yet to type up, in the car my husband is driving today. Now I'm just waiting for a big boulder to fall out of the sky and squish me....and at this point I'm kind of waiting with open arms.


*Addendum* My husband usually helps me get the girls ready in the mornings as well as he takes Olivia to preschool on his way to school. However, this particular morning was different, and things just didn't go as planned (to say the least). But I felt I should add this since I'm always on my soapbox about how things should be equal among parents. :)

Excuse Me, Is Your Daddy Home?

This was inspired by the controversy over this article.

First of all, I’m not going to even bother addressing the actual argument in the above mentioned article. This topic has been debated among women for the past 20+ years, and there is no right or wrong side! I will say that I’m tired of it always sounding like we’re in this huge competition to see who can do what; who’s a better mother, who has a better career, who’s a better wife, or who’s a better woman! It’s not a competition. It’s not. We’re just a bunch of women doing what we can, or what we have to do, and trying to get what we want out of life.

What really got me was that in this particular post, the woman complained about all that she has on her plate: job, kids, housecleaning, etc. And I thought (and even commented to her) “where is the husband/father in all this?” Am I the only one not living in the 1950’s? They say “women can have it all”, but I didn’t know that meant that we’re supposed to actually do it all! Are we saying that our husbands are just hard working sperm donors, or what? My take is pretty simple: I didn’t make the child on my own, and I certainly didn’t hear any complaining about that part of it; so I definitely don’t want to hear any complaining about the responsibility for the child. And by responsibility I mean, changing diapers, feeding, bathing, dressing, rocking, nurturing, teaching, guiding, disciplining, chauffeuring, and just knowing what the hell is going on with the kid in general. I realize there are still couples who feel that the mother nurtures and attends to the technical care, while the father provides financially. I don’t. My children will be better people because they have a mother and a father who both attend to their needs. My husband can change a dirty diaper like nobody’s business, I can work hard to provide financially for our girls, and vice versa. There are no set lines or boundaries. They are his children as much as they are mine. Just because I’m female and more nurturing and emotional by nature does not mean that I should be the only one to provide the technical care of our children! My husband can offer them things that I cannot. He can teach them what a man’s role is (or can be), he can show them how grown men behave, what they can offer in a marriage and to their children, what they bring to a home. He has interests, hobbies, and personality quirks that I do not possess. He is showing them himself…..something that I cannot do for him. So as a society we’ve come to terms (most of us anyway) with the fact that women can work full time, have important careers, earn more money then their male partners, remain childless if they choose, have maids, etc, yet we haven’t been able to decide for sure if these same women should still be solely responsible for all the child care, house cleaning & cooking! I don’t get it.

Saying "No"

I’ve been reading several posts on parenting written by Lindsay Ferrier, the Suburban Turmoil blogger. I love her posts by the way, she has opinions and is not afraid to voice them or use colorful language doing so. ANYWAY, after reading about five of them this morning, I was inspired to write another parenting post myself. Afterall, it’s something I not only deal with on a daily basis in my own life, but it’s something I have very passionate opinions and ideas about.

When Toddlers Say “No”

My daughter Olivia, who just turned three, seemed to breeze through her “terrible twos” with a minimal amount of damage. There was the jumping off of furniture, occasional fit throwing, hitting her sister, and of course, my all time favorite …saying “no” to any and all requests made by most any adult she encountered. However, some of our family members seemed to have a problem with this. My grandmother, one of my aunts (who is around us most often), my parents, my sister (you know, the “cool” aunt who has no children of her own), and even my dear husband (who’s supposed to be on my side) would tell Olivia she was “not allowed to tell us no”. Here’s my problem with that. Why on earth would you teach someone, anyone at any age, that they are not allowed to tell someone “no”. Are we trying to raise a people pleasing, peer-pressure bending, doormat of a person? Hell no! Not only that, but she’s TWO. She’s supposed to tell us “no”. It shows that she’s on the right track developmentally and right on schedule. She’s seeking autonomy; she’s learning that there just might be another option when someone is trying to get her to do something she doesn’t want to do. And guess what? This is totally okay with me. If she didn’t tell me no and completely complied with my every request I would……..well, probably be a little afraid, because that’s just not normal. Seriously, what child does that? I want her to have opinions, I want her to have her own idea of how things should go, and I want her to be comfortable with telling someone “no”.

That being said, I totally understand that even though I’m okay with her testing my authority, it does not mean that she is allowed to do whatever she wants, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean that I back off when she says “no”. I refuse to argue, I refuse to battle it out. I reaffirm what is okay behavior and what is not. For example-- Me: “Olivia get off of the coffee table please, because you could fall and hurt yourself”, Olivia: “no”, Me: walk over, get her down and say “you may not stand on the coffee table because it is dangerous and I don’t want you to get hurt”. Now usually I have to repeat this a few more times before she complies, and we do go through this fairly often (what can I say? she’s an active child and loves to climb and jump), but that’s just parenting. I think there are many ways to assert one’s authority…when necessary. But telling someone else they have no power to make a choice (i.e. telling them they can’t say “no”) is not an okay tactic in my book. Now if I could just get everyone else to see things my way…….oh, what a perfect world. LOL ;)

Hannah Montana

Before I begin my rant……I just want to say we saw the movie on Friday and loved it!

Why the controversy? I'm so sick of reading and hearing about all the negative media surrounding this girl. There are girls her age that are pregnant, on drugs, boozing it up at parties, failing out of school; the list could go on and on. Yet here is this 16 yr old girl who had a dream of becoming a singer, had the parents who were able to get her in the door, and now she’s able to do something she loves for a living. I’m sorry, I’m confused where the problem lies. Some say she isn’t a good role model, well who labeled her as one? Did she ask to be the role model for every girl aged 5-15 in the world? I’m pretty sure that would be a daunting task for anyone from the First Lady to the Queen of England. If you don’t want your kid following her, emulating her, or aspiring to be like her then turn off the TV! I don’t want my 7 yr old emulating Carrie Bradshaw & Co., therefore she isn’t allowed to watch that particular show (or any R rated programming, but that’s beside the point)……it really is that simple, folks. I’m tired of reading articles bashing Hannah/Miley for no solid reason. So what if she parked in a handicapped spot to get ice cream, so what if she made some “diva-ish” comments? I’m sure we all do things like this on any given day; we just don’t have the paparazzi around to prove it. All of us except of course the journalists who write these articles, because only someone with that amount of perfection could so easily write an entire article slandering a 16 yr old girl for being……um, what should we call it? Oh yeah, a TEENAGER! I mean, why should every single mistake be called out? Because she’s in the public eye? That’s bullshit. MSN journalist Martha Brokenbrough states, “For a teen who knows she's in the public eye to do this sort of stuff suggests she's either none too bright or views herself exempt from normal consequences.” The media and the fans are the ones who place these people on pedestals and then have the nerve to act shocked and appalled if they do something human. While Miley Cyrus awkwardly endures her teen years in front of cameras and major scrutiny, she still manages to handle a full time career (with working hours that could put many of us to shame), take time out for her fans, and overall show that it’s okay to be yourself---your imperfect self.

In summation Brokenbrough says, “For now, Miley Cyrus continues to be a great role model for kids, but only in unintended ways. She shows that talent, wealth and beauty are superficial things, and are no replacement for character. She might not be learning much from her mistakes, but our kids can”. Are you fucking kidding me? Forget the fact that “talent, wealth and beauty” is what our society obsesses over and has since long before Miley Cyrus was even born; so putting that aside-- I’m not looking at Miley Cyrus to teach my kid lessons, that’s my job, you know the one she calls “mom”. I agree our children are influenced by what they are exposed to, yes. But as far as what exactly they’re exposed to, the frequency, and how the child interprets it? Parent’s job. My 7 year old LOVES Hannah Montana, but she’s clueless about the controversial sheet photo ,handicapped parking incident, or the slanted eyes picture. Why? Because my 7 year old doesn’t read MSN, gossip websites, or Vanity Fair magazine! The bottom line is our children are going to pick someone in the limelight to obsess over, and personally I’m okay with it being Hannah Montana. There are a lot worse out there to choose from.

Can I Just Share?

My heart is still beating fast and my hands are slightly shaky….guess that’s the after effects of adrenaline coursing through my body. What happened you ask? Hahaha… oh, just some frightening silly phone conversation with a dipshit.
I’m sitting here at my desk innocently typing notes on the computer. Innocent, because I have no reason to be worried about any of my loved ones; the children were each dropped safely off at school this morning. No worries, right? Then I get a phone call.
I answer my cell phone to a number that was very similar to Hillcrest hospital phone numbers……

Man in a very urgent voice: “can I speak to the parent or guardian of Alexandria T*****?”

Me: my heart dropping to my stomach “this is she, this is her mother”. My mind is conjuring up all of the terrible images it can in approximately 20 seconds, which felt like minutes before he responded with…

Man: “this is her mother?”

Me: “YES!” Oh God, what happened to my baby?

Man: “I’m calling from Dr. Francis’s office here in Waco…”

Me: “Yes???” Oh my God, something terrible has happened to her at school and now I’m going to have to give consent for medical treatment over the phone!

Man: “she has a dental appointment with us tomorrow at such and such time and I’m just confirming…..”

Me: WHAT???? You scared the shit out of me to confirm a freakin dental appointment??? At this point I interrupt and say “OH, I thought you were calling from a doctor’s office about my child, you scared me”

Man: hesitation “no, um, I’m calling from the dentist…will you be here tomorrow?”

Me: Yes, you moron that’s why I made the appointment, so that we could SHOW UP TO IT! “yes we’ll be there”. Click.

You might call it paranoia, I call it motherhood.

I Have To Admit It

I like the Duggar family! When I first saw their show on TLC and saw that they had 14 children and counting….I was beyond amazed. I thought, “who are these hillbilly, backwoods, occult religion member, baby machines?” So I only watched one or two episodes out of morbid curiosity. Quite a while after that I saw they were coming out with a new season of episodes, only at this point they had 16 or 17 children (can’t remember exact number, because she always has one on the way). So I watched them build a gigantic new house and have it decorated by some fancy decorator that I’m sure TLC paid for. Then mom gave birth to baby number a billion, or 16, 17, whatever it was. I thought hmmmm they seem pretty normal (other then their litter of kids), maybe they’re not in some weird religion that requires you to live in a compound...

So then much later, I heard on the news they had baby # 18 (or it’s on the way still, can’t keep track) and their oldest son was getting married. I kept seeing previews for “A Very Duggar Wedding” talking about how this kid hadn’t even kissed his bride to be, like ever. They were saving that for marriage. Um, okay. Whatever floats your boat. So you know I had to watch the show. I have to say it was actually very sweet and very touching. Putting aside the very bizarre facts--the amount of children they have, how many times she’s actually given birth, and what that must have done to her body, saving kisses for marriage, etc-- they are a very loving, caring family that seem……normal! And, I have to say I loved JimBob’s (the dad) marital advice; from the simple “resolve disputes before sundown”, to the surprisingly very insightful “women want to be heard and they will like to give you all the details, just listen to her and she’ll appreciate you for that”. I really appreciated his take on marriage and was kind of blown away by his insight into what women want in a relationship. I couldn’t help but think maybe this is why they have so many kids; who could keep her hands off a man who seems to understand so much?!

So despite their outdated appearances and atypical beliefs on physical contact before marriage (i.e. no kissing), I think we could all learn something valuable from this family………except of course birth control methods.(bud-up-bump)

Injustice

I am a regular reader of the ‘Women In Crime Ink’ blog, I generally find their stories pretty interesting. However, a few minutes ago I happened to read their latest post titled ‘The Injustice of Baby Grace’ and found it extremely unsettling {to say the least}. I foolishly ignored the warnings given on the subject matter, and details of “Baby Grace’s” death……now I just feel like puking, and I’m sitting at work fighting tears. How any mother could ever, ever treat her child this way I will never understand. Both mother and boyfriend should both live a very long, torturous life in prison. The fact that anyone who is physically capable of reproducing can become a parent is almost an injustice to life. It saddens me that these two people were even allowed to raise this child for the first two years of her life. It saddens me greatly that there are women who long to be able to give birth to their own baby but are incapable, yet women like the mother of Riley Ann Sawyers (aka Baby Grace) are able to give birth and care for their own children everyday……at least until something like this happens. I don’t understand the reasoning behind this; I don’t understand tragedies like this. Nothing makes me sadder then the thought of how an innocent child who so openly and purely trusts and loves can be so horrifically betrayed by their own mother.

The only consolation is that now that sweet, innocent baby girl is in Heaven and happy. She will no longer have to endure the injustice of being born to a horrible, unfit mother; a woman and her boyfriend who are really not even fit to be called human beings. And, I know that I’m going to go home today and hug my own children very tightly.

*I purposely didn’t link to any related articles or the blog post because I don’t recommend that anyone actually read the horrific details of Riley’s brutal murder.

Now I'm Getting Pissed....

This week Olivia was moved to the younger 3 yr old classroom at her preschool, although she will not be 3 yrs old for another 4 1/2 months they felt this was a good move for her. Her teacher works 8-5 and so do I, this means I never see her teacher. However, I do still see her previous teacher with whom she is dropped off to every morning, and the “afternoon teacher” who is there when I pick her up. Here was the convo with the previous teacher this morning:

Teacher: Can you bring about 5 pairs of panties and an extra pair of pants up here for her?

Me: Okay, doesn’t she still have some panties here that I brought before?

Teacher: Well just a few, but if we had more we could work on getting her out of those pull ups. And maybe y’all could work with her at home too.

Me: {dumbfounded look} Um, Okay. {thinking how I need to speak with her regular teacher}

Teacher: Is she doing okay in her new classroom?

Me: She seems to be. But, I haven’t been able to talk to her new teacher, apparently she works the same hours I do.

Teacher: {disappointed look} Oh, well maybe I can tell her to write you a note or something.

So after reading what I just wrote, I’m thinking I guess you had to be there to understand the real frustration in it. This teacher (the one from the 2 yr old classroom) is in her 50’s and I’m sure she thinks I’m like 15 (because no one ever believes I’m 29 anyway) and stupid. I can’t believe she would have the nerve to tell me to practice potty training with my child at home!! No shit lady. Oh, we just thought we’d let you guys handle that, in fact why don’t you just take her home with you and raise her since you seem to know what’s best.

I’ve already expressed my views on pushing milestones in a previous blog and I’m not budging. Her pediatrician said around age 3 to be potty trained complete was perfectly fine and normal. Besides that, the child has very few accidents and has woken up dry just about every night in the past few weeks. The thing is this: they want to push kids through the classrooms so that they can bring more kids in, which to them equals more money. Well that’s all fine and dandy until you start pushing my kid to do something more then what she’s doing. I think she’s doing great, her pediatrician agrees. The end. I don’t need someone with an associate’s degree in child development to tell me what she thinks about my child whom I carried in my belly for 38 ½ weeks, delivered after 9 hours of labor, then nursed, cuddled, loved, cared for, and worried about round the clock by me for the last 2 yrs and 8 months.

Am I being defensive? Yes. Will I be setting up a time to speak with her current teacher? Yes. If that doesn’t work, will I be speaking to the director to figure out what their exact beliefs are on potty training? You bet.

*UPDATED* This post was written on Friday but never posted. I did speak with her current teacher this afternoon and she shares my views on potty training. Yay! She mentioned twice that she felt Olivia is actually doing very well with potty training in spite of still being fairly young. Hallaleujah...

Goal, Shmoal

Okay, I’m going off on a soapbox here………This little rant all started with an innocent comment made by Olivia’s (my 2 yr old) preschool teacher. In a weekly progress note, she made the comment that she is hoping for Olivia to be completely potty trained by December. Well here’s my problem with that: you DON’T set goals for babies and toddlers who are trying to make their way through the developmental milestones…….unless you’re God I guess. Olivia has been peeing in the potty (among other things) since she was a few months shy of her 2 yr birthday in May. We were surprised because we don’t push these kinds of things EVER, but we figured it must have been because she has a big sis who she sees pee in the potty all the time. The thing is, she isn’t potty trained completely because she still wets her pull up at night sometimes and occasionally during the day. She still alternates wearing panties and pull ups at school and at home. So that got me to thinking about the strong opinions I’ve formed over my last 7 years as a parent on reaching milestones.

My stance on babies/tots reaching their milestones is this: leave them alone, it will happen. Every child has their own plan, their own strengths and weaknesses, their own mind! If you’re getting the thumbs up from your pediatrician at the well baby check ups, and you don’t have any instinctual gut feelings that something is off, then RELAX and leave the kid alone! I hate to see moms who will have their baby “practice” walking….it’s ridiculous and it can ruin the muscles in their feet. You dragging them by their arms up and down the hallway isn’t helping…..that’s not walking! And don’t even get me started on walkers. I hate those things. I believe in open, free play space. Quit worrying about what your neighbor’s kid is doing, or what your sister’s kids all did, or what your mother says you did when you were little (believe me, she doesn’t really remember, it’s been 20-30 years ago).

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying to ignore the kid, I do believe in encouraging words and claps and cheers for effort, attempts and milestones completed. I just can’t stand to hear people compare their baby to other babies (or even worse, their siblings) like it’s a big competition about who cuts teeth first, or why their kid isn’t walking, etc. Have you ever seen a healthy 7 yr old who doesn’t pee on the potty, or who still drinks from a bottle? That’s right; it doesn’t happen that way folks. So ultimately it doesn’t really matter what day they chuck the bottle or pacifier, take their first step, or stop using diapers/pull-ups; what matters is that they get the job done and most importantly in their own time.

PTA. Yay or Nay?

I just want to share my thoughts on the PTA (Parent Teacher Association). I signed up for this association last year and paid our fees, thinking I was doing my parental duty by putting myself in the association that I thought was to bring teachers and parents together for the good of our children.

Turns out… I was wrong.

Apparently, the PTA officers (aka, moms) use the address and phone numbers that you submit upon joining, against you. They harass you to participate in fund raisers, call you during the workday to see if you can send 2 pounds of candy to school on Monday for some made up celebration, or meet them at so-and-so’s house to bake potatoes for teacher appreciation week. “Um, I’m sorry. I work. I have to pay bills right along with my husband.” Don’t misunderstand, I’m all for teacher appreciation…but let’s make it equal…how bout some parent appreciation? Teachers do get paid to do what they do, parents do not (at least not in the monetary form). But that’s beside the point. If PTA is supposed to be an organization that promotes a team effort of teachers and parents to provide an education for our children, then let’s appreciate everyone involved. Please don’t send me a bazillion brochures for pointless fundraisers in which I never get to see how the money is spent; please don’t call me at work and ask me to buy things, send things, bake things and then sound disappointed when I explain my week is full already. I can’t speak for other mothers, but some mornings just getting my child to school on time, neatly dressed, hair combed, teeth brushed, well rested, and breakfast in her tummy is a small miracle. So maybe someone should be baking me a potato!

Being At Home

The past few weeks I’ve been at home with no job and no schoolwork to do. This is the first time this has EVER happened in my life, unless you count maternity leave in which I took six weeks each time (but who would count THAT as time off?!). Now that I’ve been hired (yay!) I start work on Tuesday. That gives me 5 more days to experience this amazing “not having to be anywhere at any specific time” feeling. Granted, I still have a two year old to care for during the day and another child to get ready for school each morning-- but that’s a piece of cake compared to some of the schedules and demands I’ve had over the past few years. Here are some things I’ve realized during this time off:

1) I’m not cut out to be a stay at home mom. I’ve kind of known this for a while, but these past few weeks just confirmed it. I hate to clean, I get bored with routines, I don’t have a structured day for my children, and I don’t do anything fun and stay- at- home- momish like arts and crafts. And, just to clarify—I’m not knocking the job at all. Because (not to quote Oprah) but being a mother is the hardest job in the world. I happen to know a few stay at home moms, they chose that path for different reasons and they are great at it! It’s just not for me.

2) My favorite part of the day is about 8-8:30 in the morning. I watch Golden Girls reruns on Lifetime and I think about what’s to be done that day (cleaning, errands). It feels really good to know that the day can be whatever I make it. I don’t have any appointments, I don’t have to answer to anyone (except my two year old), the day holds promise and it feels great!

3) It’s REALLY hard to keep a 2 year old entertained…..safely. Why do they like to climb onto furniture and then jump off?! Why do they eat random things? Why do they love to go into their big sister’s bedroom while she’s at school? Why do they write on furniture and walls? Why do they dip things in the toilet? I don’t know! Okay, really I get that they’re exploring and learning. I’m just glad that I don’t work at a preschool.

So back to the grind on Tuesday, but hopefully it will be more exciting earning a paycheck this time around. Because I’ll be doing what I’m passionate about! So when I find myself missing these relaxed days, and I’m sure I will every now and then, I’ll have to remind myself of what I learned.

Family Planning

When deciding to have children we not only question how many kids to have but how far apart they should be. I’ve determined that it comes down to two deciding factors. Either we make it easier on ourselves, as parents, or we make it easier on our children. Here’s what I mean: When you have children that are 4 years apart or more, like mine, you are essentially making it easier on yourself as a parent.

1) You don’t have more then one child in baby stages, making it easier to give time, energy, and attention to the one you have.

2) For working moms-you don’t have to pay for daycare for more then one child at a time.

3) You don’t have two teenagers in the house at the same time (this one is self-explanatory).

4) You pay for one car and one college education at a time.

Now, when you have children that are 3 years apart or less you are basically making things easier for them.

1) Being closer in age, they may feel closer and more bonded to their siblings. Especially if you have more then two children, because then there won’t be siblings that are 8 or more years apart.

2) They will most likely have more in common with each other.

3) Better chance of them being a support system for each other as they grow since they are hitting life stages around the same time.

Now I realize there are definite benefits to parents for having children closely together and there are definite negatives to having children further apart. But when I think about whether or not I want more children and when I should have them, it reminds me of all the reasons I planned for at least 4 years between Alexandria and Olivia. And, I can’t help but wonder sometimes if in my selfish planning I’ve made things harder for them as sisters.

Yet another reason...

why it’s easier to finish college BEFORE you have children….

One Saturday I was working peacefully on a paper for my Family Theories class (and I say peacefully only because the children were in the other room in front of a movie), when the girls asked for some cereal. I got up and quickly fixed a bowl of milk and cheerios for Alexandria and a cup of dry cheerios for Olivia. When I left out of the room the box of cereal and the jug of milk had been put safely back in their proper places.

About 20 minutes later, when I was up to my elbows in theories, models and family assessments, I hear Alexandria yell out “Mom! Olivia spilled her milk”……it took a few minutes for that to register, and I thought “Olivia didn’t have any milk”. But then by this point they were fairly quiet again and so I did what any good mother/student under a deadline would do……. I kept typing. A little while later when I got to a decent stopping point, I went to go check on the girls (don’t worry I knew they were still alive because I could hear them talking—a mother only panics when things are SILENT). When I walked into the living room, I literally gasped. Cheerios. Everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Spilled milk. On the carpet. I was amazed at the amount of cheerios that could be flung about in a short time by one little two year girl. (see pictures-look closely at the one on the far left, you can see hundreds of tiny cheerios)

So of course they had to clean up the mess and then sat in time out--Olivia for throwing cheerios and Alexandria for bringing the cereal and milk into the living room. Oh yes, she brought the whole box of cheerios and the whole jug of milk into the living room.

I never did get the full story, but from what I can figure Olivia was throwing handfuls of cheerios into the air like confetti and then the milk was spilled because…..well because she’s 2 and there was a jug of milk next to her. Still not sure if Alexandria joined in on the “confetti” throwing or if she was too engrossed in the television to know what was happening around her, but either way she knew better then to bring it all in the living room.

Moral of the story: Finish school before you have kids because they WILL demolish your house while you are typing papers.