The Cycle of Abuse

Rage. Blame. Accusations. Controlling. Bullying.

Confusion, panic, guilt.  Pain.

Punishment.

Resentment. More pain. Finding ways to cope until it's over.

The Apology.

Immense relief that he is back to his old self, and all is right with the world again.

Fear. Guilt. "I'm sorry, I love you, I don't want to hurt you."

Love.
Love?

Diary of a Depressed Woman

More collections from my "memos" app on my phone:

4/15 @ 11:52pm: I think the worst sadness is when you can't manage to shed a single tear.  And the pain just sits heavy in your heart. With no release.

4/16 @ 6:39pm: I stare monotonously at the TV.  Not really watching, but trying to focus.  Hard to watch anyone else have any emotions at all when happiness was ripped from my fingers.

4/18@ 5:34pm: Gaining a new perspective seems to be the only way out.

4/21 @ 2pm:  Sometimes I feel really lost.