Pobrecito

Here We Go Again

I’m gonna’ have to talk about my church again. My latest gripe is that they are all seeming a little too judgmental these days. We recently started having bible study on Wednesdays and they have changed the Sunday sermon format to topic sermons rather then bible study sermons. Hallelujah! It’s about time. But after attending 1 Sunday and 2 bible studies since this change, I still find myself wondering……why do I want to attend a church where I don’t even agree with the majority of what comes out of the mouths of our preachers (yes, we have more then one)? I mean, not the Jesus is the son of God, bible verse stuff; but the whole “homosexuality is wrong”, “Catholicism is wrong” (my husband is Catholic by the way...and gay.....just kidding!). Anyway, it’s this superior attitude that comes out during these discussions…I’m sure they’re all well meaning folks, in fact I know they are. I’ve known most of these people my whole life. I just don’t get how they can’t see how judgmental they’re being. I don’t believe that only one church is going to Heaven, if I did I probably wouldn’t have married my husband! I think that you can have opinions without forcing your judgment on others. I also don’t like feeling judged because I don’t attend church on a regular basis. I’m sorry but sometimes in order just to function, I HAVE to lie in the bed past 8:30AM. And most importantly I don’t believe that God intends for us to judge one another so harshly!! Yes, we all do it from time to time, it’s human nature just like many other sins. But preaching judgment to your congregation??!! Come on now, that’s like putting a Kentucky Fried Chicken inside a Gold’s Gym! It’s just WRONG.

Why Pray?

I grew up in a family that held hands and gave thanks at the dinner table (and not just on special occasions), around a mother and grandmothers that found their strength in prayer and faith, with a family that believed our lives were guided by God and that he always knew best….no matter what. Anytime life threw us a curveball, the adults would simply say “we’ll pray about it”. So I became an adult that prays over life’s challenges, over my marriage, my children; I’ve prayed for guidance on major life decisions, and I’ve put all my faith in God guiding me in the direction He wants me to go.

So why is it that I am sometimes reluctant to pray over certain things? I’ve seen God’s hand in just about every aspect of my life. I know He is there. But, when I want something that I think isn’t good for me, or not what God would want, I find myself almost refusing prayer. One of the hardest things to do is to pray for God’s will and truly mean it. {Especially when you’re a control freak like me.} I mean we all have our own ideas about what our lives should look like, but when you can hand it over to someone who knows all, sees all, created you, and has a special plan for you-- there is no greater feeling. Who better to be in control of your life?

So why do I hesitate to pray? Why are there things in my life that have been neglected? I’ll just say I’ve ignored a certain aspect of my life lately, hoping the problems would go away on their own. Why I chose not to just pray about it, I’m not sure. I think I already had my mind made up as to how it should all play out, and I was refusing to let God take over. I guess there comes a point when some of us have to realize the more we have to fight for control in a situation, the more the situation is actually controlling us. So as I sit here typing, I’m preparing myself to surrender……….AGAIN.

Thoughts on Christianity and CWO

I was going to add my name to the Christian Women’s Organization blog roll so I decided to read the “rules” first.
1) You have to completely agree with their statement of faith. “Okay. Check.”
2) Your blog site may be monitored and has to be approved in order to officially join. “Um, okay? Check.”
3) Any blog containing foul language or questionable material will be removed from the list. “Whoa, wait a minute.”
Who determines if what I say is questionable material for a Christian woman? God? Is He reading my blog? Because the last time I checked, He was the only One I truly answer to. And as far as I know, He and I are cool. Do I occasionally use foul language? You bet. Am I proud of myself for this? No, but only because I have children, and I wouldn’t want them to grow up hearing loads of profanity. Do I sometimes post material that someone else might deem inappropriate, questionable, or offensive? Probably. But, isn’t that the point of having your own space to write; so that you can express your own thoughts, ideas, and opinions? So the CWO blog roll rules prompted me to think, what is the ideal blog of a Christian woman? Do I have one? I like to write complainy, whiney posts just as much as I like writing the other stuff. I use bad language, I laugh at raunchy movies, I have tattoos, I am judgmental, and the list goes on and on. Unfortunately no one can read one or two of my posts and get the full picture of who I am; who I am as a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, or a Christian. No one can look at me or read what I write and see into my past; or see that I was raised in a home of faith, God, and church, or that when I was 14 I really and truly began my own private journey as a Christian. So I think I’ll pass on joining the blog roll and putting their cute little button on my site. I don’t need an official CWO person to determine if I or my site fit all their Christianity “guidelines”.

Church Shopping

I’ve been a member at the same church my whole life…..literally; my mother took me for the first time as a newborn. When I was a child our congregation was about 30-40 people, nowadays on a good Sunday there are 10-15 of us. Some families have moved away but mainly the elders just keeping dying off. I know that’s morbid but it’s true! We have no Sunday school, no youth groups, no involvement in the community, etc. Week after week I take the girls [my hubby is Catholic and attends his own church] and ride with my mom and grandma to church……..BLAH. I’m getting nothing out of it, except communion and……..that’s about it, well and I guess the girls are learning how to whisper???? To me church should be a place where your soul and inner peace are replenished for the week. A place where when you leave you feel cleansed or refreshed from the inside out. A place where you grow spiritually each week. I am not getting this. I guess you could say I’ve been continuing there out of loyalty? Out of not wanting to make changes? But, I’ve decided it’s time I go church shopping. I want to stay with Church of Christ, I just hate the idea of going to a new place. Call me strange but there are two main reasons why I do not like visiting new churches….

1) No anonymity. At least not in a Church of Christ. You are pounced on like the fresh meat that you are as soon as the service is over. You are greeted by at least a dozen new people all wanting to know if you’re new to the area, etc. You are sometimes even invited to Sunday dinner. Now I’m sure you’re thinking, “What’s wrong with that”? I’ll tell you. I LIKE being anonymous sometimes. I LIKE not being hounded with a thousand introductions. I don’t like when they assume this was my first time in a church, and they better grab onto me before I fall into the clutches of Satan.

2) Learning the routine; each church has their own routine. Granted, most Church of Christ congregations probably have the same rituals but not necessarily in the same order, and I’ve seen the communion done a few different ways. Again, you might ask, “What’s the big deal”? I’ll tell you. I don’t like feeling lost and looking foolish; especially with two noisy kids by my side to bring all the attention on us. First, you have to find a place to sit and hope that you’re not taking the seat of a regular. Then, you have to figure out what everyone is doing and what’s going to happen next. Then there’s the DREADED “meet and greet”, which some churches do as a regular part of the morning service. Where people actually get up and go around greeting one another, and then if you’re new ……well…you’re shark bait.

So we’ll see how it goes! I’ll be sure and keep you all [well, all 2 of you] posted!